Hasbro to fire 1,100 employees while CEO Chris Cocks receives a fat 1.5 million dollar pay

In a masterclass of corporate "compassion", Hasbro announced the dismissal of 1,100 employees and the shuttering of their Providence, RI office. This "heartwarming" revelation came as a result of the company grappling "heroically" with the tragic downturn in soft toy sales, a hardship only exacerbated by the fleeting ecstasy of pandemic-induced shopping sprees in 2020.

 

So, you mean the windowless boxes (which we had despised since their introduction) the price hikes and lower quality across all brands, not to mention miserable inventory selection (we can still find Wakanda Forever and Lady J figures at our Walmarts)  and all that "performative activism" didn't help to raise the bottom line? Color us surprised!

In a stroke of brilliance, Hasbro's leadership decided to announce the significant workforce reductions just weeks before Christmas. Nothing says "festive spirit" quite like leaving hundreds of families in suspense, with many still awaiting their spot on the cuts list. 'Tis the season for strategic corporate decisions!

All the while Hasbro CEO Chris Cocks will still receive his fat 1.5 million dollars a year. According to the Washington Post, Mr. Cocks got 9.4 million in total compensation. We are sure he will be thinking of these families while vacationing on a yacht in the Maldives.

In a stunning display of journalistic creativity, various toy news outlets have tackled the recent workforce reductions with the subtlety of a sledgehammer. Their riveting coverage includes groundbreaking statements like "our hearts go out to those employees" and the daring expression of hope for a "smooth transition." This unparalleled narrative, however, is not just an exercise in literary genius—it's a masterclass in playing it safe. These outlets, it seems, delicately tiptoe around any criticism of the mighty Hasbro, presumably terrified of losing access to the holy grail of privileges: exclusive interviews at events like New York and San Diego Comic Con. Because who needs hard-hitting journalism when you can have a cozy chat about action figures and risk-free "smooth transitions"?

 Additionally, there's the allure of indulgent press kits, brimming with complimentary toys, which these outlets receive regularly. The delicate balance between journalistic integrity and maintaining access to such perks seems to be at play in their reporting.

                                      A Hasbro press kit from 2005 currently selling for $2500 on Ebay. Source: Ebay

 Here at GEN we don't care about access, we have none and we want none. You won't see any of our employees or talent featured in mid ass Hasbro livestreams shilling for a brand and playing clowns hyping products that will be discounted at the end of the year. Seriously dudes, you look cringy AF, and make us all collectors look bad. No wonder kids today think toys are for boomers and prefer video games instead.

We care about our journalistic integrity, and on behalf of all those employees who are about to be fired we can tell you:

FUCK YOU CHRIS COCKS.

FUCK YOU HASBRO.

Take it to the bank. 

-Chris "Hunter" Diaz-

Chief editor

Geek Entertainment Network